Such a big and warm welcome if you are new here this week. I am so thrilled that you have joined us.
And a shout out to my awesome regular readers and clients—you always have my admiration and appreciation for being here.
Ok, so can we talk about that voice in your head? Ugh, right? That damn voice!
To begin with, it never turns off. Does it? I mean, if you personified that voice and put her on the couch next to you for just one hour–what would happen? She would be so full of negativity and put downs that you would kick her out of your home and tell her to never come back. Wouldn’t you?
Not only does the voice in your head talk incessantly, but it’s almost always wrong!! All the stories and situations and tragedies that it cooks up are almost always completely off base. And yet here you are, living with this voice going full throttle all the time and often allowing it to hold you back from what you truly want in your life.
Before we talk about dealing with your voice, let’s talk about what it is (and isn’t).
No matter how much you may identify with your voice, no matter how conditioned you may be to believing what that voice says about you, I want to assure you that you are not that voice. I will say that again. You are not that voice.
What you are is underneath the voice. What you are can hear the voice and act on it or not. Underneath that voice is a beauty and a stillness and a peace and a joy that is the true you.
The you that has always been and always will be there.
That part underneath is the real you. It is always accessible and will never leave. All you need to do is slow down enough to find that part of yourself. To quiet the voice enough to recognize and feel what has always been available to you.
But how can you do that? How can you get underneath the voice in your head when it takes over and always seems to be running the show?
One way is by recognizing that the voice is not your enemy. Believe it or not, the voice is trying to protect you.
I know, I know. Protecting you? That voice is what you have battled against for as long as you can remember. That voice is mean and hurtful and says horrible things to and about you.
It says that you are not capable of doing new things. It tells you to take a nap instead. It convinces you not to take chances, that you aren’t worthy and that you will never be more than you are now.
Have a cookie, go surf the internet–that is where you belong. You aren’t good enough, you won’t be able to handle it and you will never live up to your potential. That voice in your head is an intimidating dream killer.
But have you ever stopped and tried to identify your voice? Who is it for you? Sometimes your voice is predominantly one of your parents. Sometimes it is a conglomeration of many of the people who influenced you growing up.
Before you internalized them, they were almost always real voices. You were young and couldn’t take care of yourself. You needed these people, no matter what they were saying to you.
When these words were actually spoken to you or this person made you feel that you had to be a certain way, you were reacting in the only way you could. At the time, doing what they said was essential to your survival. It kept you safe. You behaved as they wished so that you didn’t jeopardize your relationship with them.
Pretty important, right?
So please don’t blame the voice or berate yourself for making choices that kept you safe and cared for.
And let’s remember–you were little and may have misinterpreted a lot. And your caretakers were dealing with a lot too. They meant well, but that didn’t always come across. But here you are all these years later with these outdated beliefs running your life.
So now it’s different. While it may seem like those people are inside your head, they aren’t. You have taken their voices and made them your own. The danger is gone now. What the voice once protected you from is no longer a threat.
Now it is up to you to recognize that the old patterns can be let go. No one but you is holding you to those standards anymore. And what that voice is telling you? It is almost 100% untrue.
So the next time the voice in your head starts in on you, you can recognize it for what it is. You can realize that while it may be saying awful things, it does have your best interest at heart. Maybe you can chuckle at how misguided it is. You can tell it thanks, but no thanks. Reassure the voice that you are safe now and you’ve got it from here. It can go play somewhere else.
That voice in your head is never going to go away. But you can make peace with it. You can recognize it’s twisted logic and work with it instead of against it.
This is a big first step toward getting underneath your voice to that still and beautiful place that is the true you.
Need help with this? Want to learn ways to tame your inner voice? Or more about what is underneath it? Hit contact in the upper right corner of this page to set up your complimentary Discovery Call with me.
Peace can be yours. You deserve it.
In order to change your life, you must first change your mind