“That’s nice, I guess, but I don’t need it. My life is fine the way it is.”
Her voice as she said this was defensive and held a touch of condescension.
I was speaking to someone I had just met about the transformational work I do with women and all the changes that have helped in my own life.
I was telling her how much different everyday can feel and how burdens and worries are lifted off your shoulders when you embrace some new truths about yourself.
She wasn’t having it. She was skeptical and uncomfortable with my sharing. But her reaction didn’t bother me because I have encountered it before.
Transformational life changes are not for everyone.
That fact is not only ok, but exactly what it should be.
I often say that people aren’t ready until they are ready.
But, you may ask, how do people know when they are ready?
The answer is that it is different for everyone.
Sometimes ready hits you as a tragedy or a wake up call. The death of a loved one, an unexpected job loss, divorce or diagnosis.
Other times it comes on as a gradual yearning. A persistent discomfort in your core that something is missing from your life.
For some it shows up as garden variety, “I’m miserable.” Your severe dissatisfaction could be from long term habits or a life transition. Either way it dawns on you that there has to be more to life than this.
With everything you have, you know you should feel better than you do.
Whatever it is that gets you there, the situation puts you in enough discomfort that you finally make the decision and say, “I can’t live like this anymore.”
Now you are ready.
You have put a line in the sand that is THE most important step in the process. Without that line, without committing, you will stay stuck in your old patterns and nothing will change.
Ok, you may say, what exactly am I committing to?
As may seem obvious, you are committing to yourself. But this commitment has an entirely new foundation—one that you may never have been exposed to until now.
The foundation is bigger than this, but it starts with two main building blocks. You need to begin by accepting and embracing that:
~ Happiness is an inside job.
~ Everything in your life is a result of your choices.
When you look back at your life while acknowledging the truth of these two statements, you will experience a tectonic shift. You will suddenly see your past through a completely new lens.
In a flash there is no more feeling like a victim in your life. There is no more getting angry at people and circumstances outside of you. They are not the problem. They never were.
Now, you hold the reigns and you know it.
It is all up to you.
It was never their job to make you happy.
It was never their job to make choices that are right for you.
You, and you alone, determine what you think, what you feel, how you react and how you take action in the world. It’s as simple as that.
Please understand that this is not about blaming yourself. The hard things that have happened in your life have been for your learning and growth.
If you have made choices that led you down a path you aren’t satisfied with, now you have the opportunity to make new choices that will get you where you want to be.
If you got yourself here, you can get yourself out.
Not buying it? Skeptical? That’s ok! Remember, you aren’t ready until you are ready.
But, when you are willing to take accountability for your own life, the freedom and power it gives you is monumental.
When you truly embrace responsibility for your happiness and choices, it can be the most empowering day of your entire life.
It is from this place that you start to move towards what you do want.
And how do you do that? Well, keep an eye out for the next piece of your transformational puzzle…becoming your own best friend.
Big Transformational Hugs,
Do you think you are ready, but still aren’t sure? I can help. Hit contact in the upper right hand corner of this page to set up your free Discovery Call.
If you missed last week, I set forth 8 underlying points to my coaching philosophy. For the rest of the summer I will be sussing out each point individually. Today’s was #1. You can read the original email HERE.
In order to change your life, you must first change your mind.