I know I’ve been here a lot lately. I am just so excited about sharing with you what it has taken me years to learn for myself.
I ran into a friend this morning as I was out walking. She was saying how she has mixed feelings about the kids going back to school. She wasn’t looking forward to the over scheduled days, excessive homework and all the other pressures that come right along with a new school year.
We were talking about how to balance it all. To be there to support our kids, but to still let them grow and learn.
And then she asked a question that I haven’t been able to get out of my head since:
“How do we not let our kids needs dictate our lives?”
This is really the struggle that we all try to constantly manage, isn’t it?
We love our kids. We want to be there for them. But when does being there for them cross the line? When do we not only sacrifice our own well being too much, but also enable our kids? When is it that we start hurting both ourselves and them?
This is the million dollar question.
I think it is important to look underneath why we do this. What is it that gets us to the place of feeling like we have to sacrifice and nag and be over involved with our kids?
I think it comes down to the Big Five:
~You believe that you are responsible for your kids happiness and success in life.
~You believe that you will be judged harshly if you don’t do everything for your kids–in other words, “everyone else is doing it”.
~You believe that you have to be a tireless caregiver–this is what you saw growing up.
~You believe that your kids will miss out on opportunities if you don’t stay on top of every little thing.
~You believe that your chance is long gone, so you pour all of your hopes and dreams onto your kids.
Now, I could write an individual post on each one of these, but for today—really think about the Big Five
Do you feel like your need to be over involved in your child’s life is because of one or more of these reasons?
If yes (and I am betting there is a yes or two in there) do you think that you may be hurting both yourself and your child?
This is why being Self-ISH is SO, SO important!
We are putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves and our kids and it is a road to more pain and struggle.
We all have the best of intentions. We love our kids more than we can possibly express. But somewhere along the line it gets messed up.
And getting un-messed up is the work that I do with women. And it is why I am so passionate about sharing this work and sharing this message.
Let’s do better for ourselves and our kids. When we feel better about us, it takes the pressure off of them.
If this article has hit home and you know that you could use some further help managing it all, I encourage you to sign up for the FREE workshop I am doing next Thursday on The Art of Being Self-ISH.
There is so much more to being Self-ISH than just exercising and getting your nails done. This is a way of life that supports your family in a whole new way.
Let me teach you how to move away from the Big Five so you can parent from a confident, peaceful place.
Click here to sign up.
Seriously, you are one week away from waving good bye to your kids as they start a new school year. Wouldn’t it be awesome if this was the year that you felt balanced and at ease with it all?
It can be!
Seats are limited, so grab yours quick.
In order to change your life, you must first change your mind.