Are you your own worst critic? Do you beat yourself up over even the smallest infraction? Do you give yourself a harder time than anyone else in your life gives you?
What about the other side of the coin? How often do you pat yourself on the back? When something good happens, do you pause and really enjoy it? Do you relish your accomplishment or good fortune?
If you are like most women, you relate to the “beat yourself up” part and skim right over the “basking in your glory” part. We women excel at wallowing in our own self-criticism, but don’t take two minutes to feel good about ourselves for a job well done. You tell yourself, “I can’t do that. That would be bragging or arrogant. “ Right?
Wrong. In working with my coaching clients, one of the first things we talk about is the necessity of acknowledging and feeling proud of our achievements. By noticing and celebrating each step—large or small—we change our inner voice. When we take credit and feel good about what we have done, we change our thought process and learn to feel good about ourselves. This allows us to recognize how much good we do in the world while simultaneously turning off that inner critic.
Try it. Once a day, take a moment. Think about something you are proud of. It can be anything, tiny or huge—but it needs to be about you specifically, not your kids or hubbie or dog. You got through that pile of laundry, you went for a jog, you crossed four things off your to do list, you got accolades at work, you got a great nights sleep, you contributed to your community. During that moment, really feel the satisfaction. Give yourself kudos. Say to yourself, “I freakin’ rock.”
When we get used to feeling good (even if it is just to ourselves or our loved ones), it makes it easier to recognize when we are disproportionally hard on ourselves for minor things. It also allows us to build on the good to create more. This starts a snowball effect of positive change in our life. It is amazing.
I would love to hear from you:
What is something in your life that you haven’t given yourself enough credit for? Please comment below.
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Leanne Chesser says
July 5, 2013 at 10:32 pmHi, Lorna! I love the title of your post! I totally agree. I do a good job of patting myself on the back . . . but I’ve done a lot of work on this in my life. I’m part of a program online right now where we do this type of thing. I have a list of awesome stuff about myself, affirmations and a video I just created all about great things about me. I also keep a folder on my computer where I add in things others have said about me that are positive. I read through my affirmations and lists every week.
breathecommunity.org says
July 7, 2013 at 1:21 pmSuch great ideas Leanne! I am going to start a folder too. Thanks for your wonderful input.
Vivian Mandala says
July 7, 2013 at 1:12 pmI’m a great mom, I love my kids and do what I need for them. I also am great at taking care of myself, although it can get out of whack, especially at the end of the school year and around the winter holidays, but I’m really good about “righting” myself without the drama and guilt.
Great post. 🙂 Thanks so much!
breathecommunity.org says
July 7, 2013 at 1:20 pmVivian–you are doing a great job being gentle with yourself. We all get “out of whack” sometimes, but getting back in the groove is what is all about. I am very impressed.