Where are my beach lovers out there?
How exciting that it is finally beach time! Happy dance.
What does the beach mean to you?
For me the beach is freedom. It’s fun and relaxing. There is no pressure at the beach. It is long, slow days with no to do lists.
Being on the beach is one of my favorite places in the world and memories of beach vacations are some of my most cherished.
One of the other things I love about the beach is being in and near the ocean. I have always been in awe of the ocean. Its ever presence. Its power. Its beauty.
This week I heard a recording where a thoughtful comparison was made between how we view the ocean versus how we could choose to view the people in our lives. It’s another way to fully grasp how the only control we have in life is control of ourselves.
Check it out and see if it speaks to you:
When you are at the beach and decide to go in the water, do you respect the ocean? When you check what the ocean is doing that day—where the tides and currents are, the size of the swells, the temperature of the water—do you judge those things? Or do you take them for what they are–the conditions of the ocean on that particular day? Do you ask the ocean to be different, or do you accept it just as it is?
And if you choose to go in the water that day, do you use your swimming skills? Do you maneuver out past the breakers, swim to the proper depth and pick which waves to jump, dive through or ride in? On calm days, do you swim laps or float on your back? And do you do those things while loving the ocean but also while respecting the conditions of the water?
On other days do you choose, because of certain conditions, to not go in at all? To refrain, not because you are angry or demanding that the ocean be different– but from a place of protecting yourself. Because when you do go swimming, you want to enjoy the experience and you wouldn’t jeopardize your body or life to go in on a day when you don’t feel safe.
You don’t blame the ocean for being choppy or having an undertow–you respect those things and make your choice to go in or not because you want to have many years of enjoying the ocean.
What if you could afford the people in your life the same consideration that you give the ocean? What if you could see their different moods and temperaments the same way you see different conditions in the water? That there are days to enjoy them fully and other days to keep your distance? That our loved ones are who they are and it is your choice whether to engage with them or not.
What if you could maneuver around and with them exactly the way they are–recognizing that you can’t change them anymore than you can change the ocean. That you accept their conditions and still love and enjoy being with them.
And what if on other days, out of respect and love for who they are and what is going on with their tides–you decide not to engage. You protect yourself, while acknowledging where they are, in order to go back another day when the conditions are spectacular. So you can enjoy and love them in all their glory.
How different could your relationships be if you treated those around you with the same awe, respect and acceptance that you give the ocean?
And what if allowing other people to be who they are, gave you permission to always be who you are?
Do you think your relationships might be a little bit easier that way?
Leave a comment with your thoughts.
If you would like to speak about strategies that you can use to allow those in your life to be just as they are, please hit contact in the upper right hand corner of this page to schedule a complimentary Discovery Session with me.
In order to change your life, you must first change your mind
I adapted this analogy from an Abraham-Hicks recording (San Diego, February 8, 2014). In it surfing was used and it was specifically addressing how we control and judge our significant others.