Confessions of a Writer

Oh my goodness. Could today be any nicer? I’ve been playing a bit of hookie. I had a light workload today, my hubby is home and we have been thoroughly enjoying this gorgeous weather. Sitting outside, seeing friends, puttering around and now it is 3:00 and I haven’t written to you. Better get moving.

Actually, many people have asked me how I write my weekly posts. Does it take hours? Days? Do I write them ahead of time?

Generally each week there are some re-occurring themes that come up in my coaching and my life that become possible topics. I ruminate over them and “write” in my head during quiet times–while I walk the dog, shower or cook dinner.

Then when Thursday comes, I sit down and open myself to whatever comes out. Sometimes it is very close to what I have been thinking about, and other times it is completely different and just hits me as I am typing.

Every once in a while I will start something one week, not be happy with it and then come back and finish it on another Thursday. So in those cases it does take more time. But usually it is 1-3 hours on Thursday to write, edit, test, send to you, post to FB and upload onto my website.

Nowadays I trust that something will get written every week and I don’t stress over it. Being relaxed about it is very helpful to the process. But it hasn’t always been like this–at all.

When I first started my newsletter two years ago, it was very much a “have to”. I felt pressure that everything I write be precise and meaningful. It was stressful to come up with a topic and I started dreading Thursdays. It felt heavy and not fun at all.

After a few months of that, I realized that I couldn’t sustain a weekly newsletter that I dreaded. If I was going to write, it needed to be because I wanted to and that it be ok if it wasn’t perfect or deep or meaningful. I also had to allow that if I missed a week that the sky wouldn’t fall.

Letting go was hard. Honestly, starting to write in the first place was a huge leap for me.

Who was I to write? I have always been an insatiable reader. I have also been a very snobby reader and editor. I was never going to be able to live up to my own standard. And to top it off, I have a number of friends who are excellent writers. I worried that I could never compare to them.

But being able to help women and having an online presence was important to me. So I bit the bullet and made the commitment to write every week.

Then I just did it. I started writing. And I had to move through the uncomfortableness of it. I had to embrace that it wasn’t as good as my friends writing. That it wasn’t perfect grammar or structure. That mostly it was just me writing in about the same way that I speak–cursing and all. That had to be ok.

And it became ok because I was able to embrace that I am not trying to be a published literary author. While that would be lovely, that is not why I write to you every week.

What I do is about truth and honesty. It’s about women being able to speak about their lives and their feelings and their emotions. And having a place where that is safe.

And that is what allowed me to write. And to feel good about what I write. Because while it may not be perfect, I know that sometimes it is exactly what someone needs to read. It is the thing that helps my readers look at a situation differently or do something that they have never done. It is the thing that encourages someone to reach out for help.

And do you know what else? People now tell me that I am a good writer. I brushed it off at the beginning. But then I heard it again. And again. So now I have tried it on. I practice saying “I am a writer”. It still feels a size too big, but I am getting there.

I flexed my writing muscle and developed a new part of myself. How cool is that?

And what if I hadn’t? I might have convinced myself I couldn’t do it. I might have allowed feeling judged or comparing myself to others to hold me back.

And then what? There would have been women that didn’t have this resource. I would have been holding back and not giving the thing that I was meant to give the world. What a waste that would have been.

So if you are holding yourself back from that thing that is calling you—stop. Take the step. Do it. You have no idea who might be forever changed from what you have to offer.

Nobody benefits when you keep yourself small. Shine your light. The world needs you.
Hugs,
Lorna

And if you are wondering—I had planned to write about TMI today. While I have thought about the evolution of my writing before, this subject pretty much came out of nowhere today. And my first draft is done in under 40 minutes.

In order to change your life, you must first change your mind