I heard the phone ring.
The sinking feeling in my stomach reminded me again of what I was avoiding.
I checked the caller ID. It wasn’t her, thank goodness.
I had been bypassing the conversation for two weeks now. I didn’t have a clue which choice I was going to make. I was completely torn.
But I knew the decision really needed to be made. The fact that it hadn’t been was hanging heavily over my days. I could only keep it in the recesses for so long. And then something would bring it back–the phone ringing for instance.
It was only right for me to make up my mind already. Then everyone would know and I could finally get rid of this uneasy feeling.
I had done my pro versus con lists. I had rationalized and justified. I had talked myself in only to talk myself back out. I played the guilt, obligation and family duty cards. And to confuse things further, everyone I spoke to about it had differing opinions.
I felt really stuck.
Then I had a session with my coach. She walked me through it. But not in the way I expected.
She had me close my eyes. She said “Picture yourself going. Feel yourself being there. See the people you would see, think of the logistics of getting there and everything it would entail”. And then she said:
“How does it feel in your body?”
It felt tight and constricted. I felt pulled to be somewhere else, like it wasn’t where I was meant to be. It felt heavy and burdensome.
Then she had me do the opposite. “Picture yourself not going. Feel yourself doing the things that you have planned that you would have missed if you had left. See the people you would be with and what you would be doing at home. Feel what it would be like to know that everyone was together at the distant party, but you aren’t there. ” Then she repeated:
“How does it feel in your body?”
It felt light and easy. It felt, well, right.
How I truly felt was suddenly so obvious. I understood the difference between what others wanted me to do versus what was right for me and my immediate family.
You see, your brain will mess with you at every turn. Your brain will guilt and cajole and bully.
Because, remember, as I wrote about here, those voices in your head are not always your own. They are often the voices of people who had influence over you when you were young.
Trusting your brain is not always your best bet.
On a test? Fantastic.
For important life decisions? Not so much.
Sure, your brain should play a part, just not the starring role.
Your body on the other hand always tells the truth. There is no voice that dictates your body. Your body holds your instinct, your gut knowing, your true nature and what is best for you. Your body will always tell you how you really feel.
Your body doesn’t lie. Ever.
In this particular case, calling and saying that I wasn’t going to make it to the party wasn’t easy. I disappointed some people and possibly angered others.
Both options were messy. While the answer I eventually came to wasn’t simple, it had at least become clear.
Even if I had decided to go, I would have known where I stood and why I made the choice that I did.
Do you struggle with decisions?
Check how both options feel in your body. I promise what you truly want will present itself.
What you choose to do from there is up to you.
Need help with situations like this? Find yourself always torn? I can help. Hit Contact in the upper right corner of this page to set up your complimentary Discovery Session.
In order to change your life, you must first change your mind