Are you able to embrace your “youness”? Do you enjoy, appreciate and even celebrate the things that you do well and love doing? Or are you stuck feeling embarrassed and hiding the things that you are naturally awesome at?
For the longest time I was embarrassed about the things that made me happy. I’m a domestic, introverted kind of gal. I love to read, cook, bake, garden and exercise. I love organizing and efficiently handling my to do list. I love being with family and friends, but small groups and one on one is where I flourish. I always found myself uncomfortable about these things. Like I was “supposed” to be out doing extroverted stuff and participating more in lively events. Like reading and doing other quiet things was somehow nerdy or uncool.
Now we could talk a lot about societal pressures and blah, blah, blah, but at the end of the day, it was my own insecurities that kept me from truly enjoying every minute of my pastimes. I always did the things that made me happy, I just felt awkward and uncomfortable when I thought about it or the subject came up in conversation.
Why did I do this to myself????
Last year I was lucky enough to be introduced to the book Now, Discover your Strengths and the assessment inside—the Gallups Strengthsfinder (thank you Marie Forleo and B-school). This is a fifteen minute “test” that assesses your top five strengths. These strengths are the things that you do without thinking. The way that you would behave if a nuclear bomb were headed your way—it is so natural to you that sometimes you don’t even recognize them as strengths. We all have them. Strengthsfinder was developed for business, but I think it is a wonderful tool that can be used by everyone.
My top five strengths came out as: discipline, responsibility, intellection, input and learner.
Even after I received these results I was embarrassed. I joked, “well I’m not the life of the party, but you can count on me to be on time for carpool”.
Wait a second. Aren’t there people who long to be efficient? People who would give their right arm to have the discipline to get things done, be on time and exercise regularly? And I do these things easily?
Why aren’t I embracing this? Why aren’t I appreciating the things that make me who I am?
So I started. Now it makes sense why I can’t ever seem to get enough information into my brain. Now I understand why I can’t be late even when I try (fashionably late? So difficult!). Now I understand why I was able to adopt four children, add a fifth and keep my head above water. I was born this way. This is how I roll.
And I can now say, forty odd years later, that I am proud of it. I am good at these things and owning and appreciating them feels great. It’s silly that it took me so long, but at least I am here now.
My husband also took the test and it has been very helpful in understanding and supporting him as well. Things that I had given him a hard time about suddenly were shown in a different light. When harmony came up in his top five, it made me understand why he was always trying to keep the peace—which is so annoying when you think a fight is in order! But now, I understand and work with him instead of against him.
Now it’s your turn. How do you feel about your strengths? Do you want to take the test, or do you already have a good sense? Do you embrace the things you do well? Do you love what makes you YOU? Please leave your comments below.
For $9.99 you can take the test right now! (I am in no way affiliated, I just think it is a great assessment tool)
https://www.gallupstrengthscenter.com/Purchase/
Krista says
January 16, 2014 at 2:00 amI love Strengthsfinder! That is an amazing tool. I love how you are embracing your inner “youness” and realizing that it’s ok if you aren’t fashionably late. Ever. 🙂 That’s why people love you – they know you’ll be there when you say you will be and not a second after!
breathecommunity.org says
January 16, 2014 at 3:23 pmThanks Krista!!
Suzanne says
January 16, 2014 at 2:06 pmLove this post! Playing to my strengths is one of the things I know I should do, and I do it most of the time, but the temptation is always there to try and make myself be more extroverted or seem more fun-loving. I do love to have fun, you just won’t find me at the local wine bar on Friday night. This subject is really on my mind right now as I work on some writing projects. To be a good writer you have to speak in an authentic voice and this reminds me to stay true to who I am. Thanks so much for that.
breathecommunity.org says
January 16, 2014 at 3:23 pmI’m so glad this came at a good time Suzanne. Good luck with your writing–your authentic voice is what the world needs!
Lana Shlafer says
January 16, 2014 at 8:36 pmI’ve done the strengths finder test years ago and it was so wonderful when it confirmed to me what I already knew. My greatest strengths are enthusiasm, emotional intelligence and ability to integrate different parts into one whole. Like you Lorna, it has given me tremendous relief to focus on what feels easy and right to me and look for work and relationships that play to my strengths!
breathecommunity.org says
January 21, 2014 at 12:54 amThose are wonderful strengths Lana. Even though I only know you virtually, your enthusiasm shines through. I love that you focus on what “feels easy and right”–we should all follow your example.
Melissa Burkheimer says
January 17, 2014 at 4:22 amI have a crazy sense of knowing what I’m good at, I just need to hunker down and stay focused on those things. Loved reading your experience with the test Lorna!
breathecommunity.org says
January 21, 2014 at 12:54 amI know Melissa, knowing our strengths and focusing on them are two very different things. Good luck!
Fiona says
January 17, 2014 at 9:43 amI love that after years of swimming against the tide being the crafty/domestic one from a young age that so many of my school friends now knit, sew, garden, etc, I just look at myself as being ahead of my time 😀
breathecommunity.org says
January 21, 2014 at 12:52 amIt’s so true Fiona–you have always been true to yourself. I’m glad that you have some company now in your pursuits.
Silvia says
January 18, 2014 at 5:26 pmLorna, As you know, from the moment I met you I could feel and connect with your loyalty and our common domestic loves and not so common intellectual pursuits. I’ve got to take the strengths finder test. Even though I think I know myself really well, I’m such a contradiction…even to myself. Like you I can easily be a domestic goddess but also on the leading edge of thought. I love a big fun party but most at home with meaningful heart to heart. I can be brilliant with things that escape most people but fail to understand some of the simplest things. In high school my friends called me the absent minded professor. I love adventure but can easily and happily hibernate for months. Is it possible to be both an introvert and an extrovert?
breathecommunity.org says
January 21, 2014 at 12:56 amSilvia, you can be 50% extrovert and introvert–everyone is some combination. But the strengthsfinder will give you so much more information! I highly recommend it. Only takes about fifteen minutes, right on your computer.
Lacy says
January 20, 2014 at 10:05 pmSounds like we have a lot in common! I actually had someone tell me I was “doing college wrong” because I was more interested in studying than partying. 😉 But it’s just who I am!
breathecommunity.org says
January 21, 2014 at 12:57 amLacy that is so funny! So much pressure to party–I’m so glad that part of my life is behind me. I’m glad you “did it wrong” and stayed true to yourself.