Up until quite recently I was one of those people who would prefer death over public speaking. While I was never actually faced with the choice (has anyone ever actually been faced with that choice?), a peaceful death seemed preferable to standing on stage speaking in front of a group of people.
In the past few years I have gotten over this fear. I will divulge how I was able to do that, but before I do, I’d like to share a success story.
I participated in a leadership retreat this past weekend. As part of the training, we were each tasked with creating and delivering a three minute speech on stage, on camera and in the spotlight. What follows is the transcript of mine:
“What if I told you that every decision that you made about yourself, others and the world, you made before you were six years old?
It’s true…..and I’m going to tell you why you did it, how it’s messed you up and what you can do to change it.
As humans, we were all born with five birthrights.
The right to exist.
The right to have needs.
The right to take action in the world.
The right to be separate and still belong.
The right to love and be loved.
They are called birthrights because they are inherently ours, simply for breathing.
But these birthrights get messed up for almost everybody and here’s why:
As children, there are only two things that we cannot tolerate. We can’t handle not belonging and we can’t handle not understanding the way the world works.
So in many cases before language, with missing and faulty information, we make decisions about ourselves and the world. In order to feel safety and belonging we are willing to make up and believe lies about ourselves.
Take for instance a baby whose parents are out working two or three jobs to provide for this child that they love so dearly.
The baby might decide that since mom and dad aren’t around so much that he or she is not loved or not wanted.
This belief becomes part of the child’s operating system. It becomes the programming that the child brings with it into adulthood.
This is why you or someone you know may intellectually understand that we are all worthy and enough—but may believe that it applies to everyone else and not them.
That is their programming at work. It indicates an impaired birthright.
So what can be done about this?
I have recently gotten trained in NLP. Neuro Linguistic Programming.
NLP practitioners take their clients back to the hurt little one. They bring that little one the information and the resources that he or she couldn’t have had as a child.
NLP allows the client to understand that they were always loved and they were always worthy. The work allows the little one to rewrite their programming. It allows them to feel it in the core of their being so they can move forward with this new understanding.
If you are someone who STILL feels unworthy or that you don’t deserve love and success–please find a TCM practitioner.
Do the work. Go back and heal your little one once and for all so you can enjoy the life you so richly deserve.
So what changed that allowed me to stand confidently on that stage? Part of it was that I have done a good amount of work on getting out of my own way. I know now that I am no better nor worse than anyone else on the planet. I also realize that getting on stage isn’t about me, it is about the message that I have to share.
But the other big piece for me actually came from the NLP work that I myself have done. I uncovered that one of the decisions that my little one made was that I would only be loved if I stayed quiet.
That programming kept me from many things. It kept me from voicing opinions, it kept me from standing up for myself, it kept me from asking for what I need and it kept me from feeling like I had any business being up on a stage.
I have re-written that faulty programming and I have no problem doing any of those things anymore. And I fully expect to be on many more stages in front of many more people. Because I do have an important message to share and I am no longer afraid to use my voice.
Please hit contact in the upper right corner of this page if you want to learn more about NLP or how I can help you with healing your little one.
You ARE worthy–simply for breathing. Wouldn’t you like to be sure of that deep within yourself every single day for the rest of your life?