It’s Valentine’s week. I’m sure you’ve been inundated with articles and posts about love, love, love. Finding a relationship, staying in a relationship or making it through V day without one.
But here is the thing–we are all in a relationship every second of our lives. A relationship with ourselves. It’s the #1 most important relationship there is because it shapes EVERYTHING in our lives, literally everything.
So, on this Valentine’s day, I ask you to ponder this:
Are you your own worst critic? Do you beat yourself up over even the smallest infraction? Do you give yourself a harder time than anyone else in your life gives you?
What about the other side of the coin? How often do you pat yourself on the back? When something good happens, do you pause and really enjoy it? Do you relish your accomplishment or good fortune?
If you are like most women, you relate to the “beat yourself up” part and skim right over the “basking in your glory” part. We women excel at wallowing in our own self-criticism, but don’t take two minutes to feel good about ourselves for a job well done. You tell yourself, “I can’t feel good about my accomplishments–that would be bragging or arrogant. “ Right?
Wrong. When I work with clients, one of the first things we talk about is the necessity of acknowledging and feeling proud of our achievements. By noticing and celebrating each step—large or small—we change our inner voice. When we take credit and feel good about what we have done, we change our thought process and learn to feel good about ourselves. This allows us to recognize how much good we do in the world while simultaneously turning off that inner critic.
Try it. Once a day, take a moment. Think about something you are proud of. It can be anything, tiny or huge—but it needs to be about you specifically, not your kids or hubbie or dog. You got through that pile of laundry, you went for a jog, you crossed four things off your to do list, you got accolades at work, you got a great nights sleep, you contributed to your community. During that moment, really feel the satisfaction. Give yourself kudos. Say to yourself, “I freakin’ rock.”
When we get used to feeling good (even if we only admit it to ourselves or our loved ones), it makes it easier to recognize when we are disproportionally hard on ourselves for minor things. It also allows us to build on the good to create more. This starts a snowball effect of positive change in our life. It is amazing.
So on this Valentine’s day, take stock. Are you giving yourself enough credit for all that you do in the world? Are you cherishing and cultivating the most important relationship in your life? The one with yourself? If not, what steps can you take to change that?
Being in a great relationship with yourself guarantees that every Valentine’s day will be wonderful.
I would love to hear from you:
What is something in your life that you haven’t given yourself enough credit for? Please comment below.
Image courtesy of Feelart / FreeDigitalPhotos.net