I want to tell you about how well our renovation is going and how beautifully on target we are for celebrating Christmas in our new home with our whole family.
The old me would have been terrified at the thought of sharing this. I would have been so afraid that telling people would jinx it. I used to believe that reporting progress or good news was just asking for trouble.
The old me worried that to acknowledge the good was asking for something bad. Why take the chance? My approach was to hold my tongue and hope for the best.
The new me knows that talking about the good is beneficial. I now know that I am not jinxing anything. What I am doing is setting an intention. My intention is that my renovation will continue going along well and my family and I will be enjoying Christmas in our new home.
I am no longer afraid to talk about it or worried that it will backfire. If anything, the more I say, “We will be in for Christmas,” the more likely it is to happen.
This all started back at the end of July when I sat down with my contractor, Tom. He told me that the project should take about five months. Being the math wiz that I am, I realized that put us right at Christmas. I immediately wanted to keep to the five month time frame and be able to have my children come back for the holidays to a home, not a garage or a hotel.
So I told Tom that our intention needed to be for us to be in by Christmas. Tom looked at me like I had two heads. I don’t think setting intentions is part of his daily routine. He immediately started back tracking and clearly felt uncomfortable about over promising.
I was really clear with him. I told him that I trusted his work and I knew he was going to do the best he could. I wasn’t going to hold him to it and I wasn’t going to be mad, but that we absolutely needed to keep the Christmas date in the forefront of our minds–because if we didn’t we definitely wouldn’t make it.
In the ensuing months we have each done our part. I have made sure to make decisions quickly and have arranged tile, granite, cabinets and appliances for when he needs them. He has kept his sub contractors moving along and work has been consistent.
Every time I ask him how we are on timing, he hedges. “It’s gonna be tight,” he tells me. I remind him that we are in great shape and that we can and will do it. He looks at me like I’m a little bit nuts.
During this time I have also made a conscious choice to trust and believe. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not sitting around only positive thinking–I am actively managing Tom and making all the decisions that need to be made.
But I am doing all of it from a calm, knowing place. I don’t feel rushed, skeptical or untrusting. I take necessary action and fully believe that by Christmas all will be delivered, installed, laid and in good working order. And we might even have beds and places to sit!
Obviously I know that something could happen. There are plenty of bumps that could materialize to hold us up and push our date back. I am not choosing to look at or give power to those bumps. They simply don’t exist for me. If I have to deal with them I will, but there is no part of me that thinks I will need to.
The project is on schedule and I consistently picture my family opening gifts around the tree in our beautiful new home.
Fear, worry, belief and trust are not tangible things. You can’t hold them or put them in a bucket. They are not real, they are simply thought patterns that keep us stuck or help us move forward.
It is just as easy to choose the good thoughts as it is to choose the bad ones.
I used to put my faith in the bad thoughts. I stayed negative and believed that this somehow protected me. It didn’t. It kept me from seeing the good in situations and from believing that I deserved positive outcomes. Even when I got the good, I didn’t fully appreciate it, I just thought it was a fluke.
Now I choose good thoughts. They keep me upbeat and positive. I can now enjoy the process because I am not constantly doubting it. When challenges do occur, I can handle them without a victim mentality. It is just something to be dealt with and then forgotten. I expect the good and I usually get it. The whole journey now feels good and safe.
And that is where we are with our renovation. We are good and safe and looking forward to a beautiful Christmas enjoying wonderful family time in our new home. I will post pictures!
Hugs,
Lorna
I can picture your Christmas too if that helps 🙂
A question for you, what are your thoughts on stalling once you get to where you wanted to be. Feels like it has taken so long to get to the point of living in our new home and huge amount if physical and emotional energy so we have given ourselves room to breathe. In giving ourselves this space though it feels like we might have stalled – not that I’m complaining too much we need to enjoy what we have achieved.
Fiona, my guess is that you are not stalling. I think that when we have had a big change in life we need to take time to rest and breathe it all in. That is what it is all about. If you start to feel heavy and your energy is lagging, that could be an indication that you are stalling. But I would imagine you guys are taking a well deserved break!
Thanks just what I needed to hear, will finish unpacking enjoy the holidays then set to it in the new year 🙂
The title of this NY Times article might make you think it rejects everything you’ve written but I think it is just pointing out how important it is to plot and carry out the steps to meet your goal. You’ve done that with your contractor.
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/26/opinion/sunday/the-problem-with-positive-thinking.html?_r=0