How often do you find yourself saying those words?
You have a short temper. “It’s just the way I am.”
You are always late. “It’s just the way I am.”
You are an introvert or an extrovert. “It’s just the way I am.”
You procrastinate yet again. “ It’s just the way I am.”
You are super controlling. “It’s just the way I am.”
You worry incessantly. “It’s just the way I am”
What if I told you that all of those actions/reactions are not the way you are, but the way you choose to be? What if I told you that saying “it’s just the way I am” is another way of saying “I don’t choose to be any different”? What if I told you it is just an excuse and if you wanted to change it, it is completely within your power to do so?
For me, this realization was life altering. Everything is a choice…literally everything! I choose to be introverted. I choose to be a worrier. I choose to be controlling. I choose to be a perfectionist.
When you look at it that way, then you get to ask yourself the following question: “Is choosing to be a _______________ serving me?” Is it helpful to me and my loved ones for me to choose being an introvert, a worrier, a control freak and a perfectionist? Doesn’t take long to answer those questions, does it?
After you reframe it this way, it becomes empowering to choose something different.
I’m not saying it’s easy. And I’m not writing this to pat myself on the back. I share this because these things were “facts” until I recognized that they weren’t. They were “just the way I was” until I saw that I could change. What a blessing that was!
So often we are unknowingly programmed at a young age and then go through life never reexamining these parts of our selves. It can benefit us SO MUCH if we do. We stop thinking that life “just happens to us”, and realize that we always have a choice in how we react.
So take a look at your own “facts”. Is there a trait that no longer serves you? If you choose to change, how different could your life be?
Do you need help changing your ingrained reactions? I can help you in the many ways that I have helped other women in your shoes. I will guide you to the peace you deserve in your life. Your life can be different and I can help you make the changes you crave. Click here to set up a “get to know you” session with me. It may just be the best thing that you choose to do today.
And please leave a comment below. I love hearing from you!
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Terra says
September 26, 2013 at 1:20 amGreat stuff Lorna!
It’s amazing how we fall back on habit. It’s eye opening to realize aspects of our personality are actual habit!
Soldi Foster says
September 26, 2013 at 1:18 pmSo true, and so doable- thanks Lorna!
Now..about tackling the trait that no longer serves me..
Great thought for the day!
Marsha from YesYesMarsha.com says
September 26, 2013 at 4:46 pmI need to choose to be less of a procrastinator, and this post has inspired me to do something that’s been hanging over me for weeks! Getting onto it now! Thanks, Lorna!
Sherry says
September 27, 2013 at 1:55 amFor a long time after a big life experience my mantra was “I choose Happy”, it had to be conscious and some days I didn’t feel it, however I still decided to choose it. I agree wholeheartedly that we have a choice and sometimes we need to do a coin flip to know inherently which way we want it to go. And some days we may choose to do the opposite. Thanks for this post Lorna.
Adi Maor Siso says
September 27, 2013 at 1:23 pmYou’re right! We can always choose who we want to be. Sometime it’s challenging but it’s always rewarding!
Thanks for the little reminder (:
Adi
Silvia says
September 27, 2013 at 5:55 pmLorna, Thank you for bringing this up. I feel so helpless when I see someone I love suffering about something about themselves and when I suggest ways to change that (choose differently) they fall back on “it’s just the way I am”. Basically it’s a copout, victim mentality that they think they can’t do anything about. The sad thing is that that attitude permeates everything in their lives. The alternative is that when they see that they can change one thing (like being late all the time) they begin to believe they can change other more serious habits like “I hate my job but I’m just not the type to work for myself” or I’m just not a good cook so I have no choice but to buy prepared food if I want to eat.
Shana LaFore says
September 27, 2013 at 9:58 pmGreat post. It really is all about choice. We get to choose how we react to things. Our initial feelings are important and we should embrace them, but beyond that we can choose whether we want to let something crush us or if we’ll rise up. Thanks for sharing!
Leah says
October 2, 2013 at 9:50 amIt’s so true- all these personality things we say “is just the way we are” are really just excuses. We can choose to be how we want. Great reflection to remember. Thank you.
Krista says
October 2, 2013 at 11:00 pmI love this! The power of conscious choice is so often overlooked in life. I love how the power shifts as you change thenquestion around to be, “is being this way serving me?” Great post 🙂
Lana Shlafer says
October 3, 2013 at 4:08 amLike you Lorna, the realization that everything is a choice was one of the most powerful truths I discovered. I love knowing that the experiences and situations that are showing up in my life today are the result of past thoughts and that by choosing how I think and act today, I am literally building my future! Thank you for the post!