I have a strange question for you today.
What do you think about at night in bed before you fall asleep?
I’ll tell you if you tell me.
But first let me tell you my old pattern.
I used to lay in bed overthinking.
I would worry about conversations I had had that day and what I should have said.
I would worry about what I needed to do the next day, the next week, the next month.
I used to obsess over what my kids or my husband or my friends should be doing with their lives.
In short, I used to put my energy towards a whole bunch of stuff that had either already happened or hadn’t happened yet—things I had zero control over in that moment (if ever).
Total waste of time and energy, would you agree?
The Dalai Lama said, “There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live”
It was time for something new.
So now? This is what I think after I am tucked up in bed:
Healthy
Joyous
Compassionate
Abundant
Successful
Authentic
Vulnerable
Honest
Sought After
Slim
Youthful
Active
I don’t just think each word, I think, feel and picture the action and emotion behind each word.
These are the things that I am/want to be. These are the feelings and actions I want to embody all day long. These are the ways of being that I want to personify. These are the things I want my energy going towards.
I used to think that life just happened. That I was along for a ride and I needed to hang on and do the best I could.
I have learned that this is not true. Life is intentional. Life is what we make it. Life is where we put our thoughts and our energy.
So now I choose to focus on what I have and what I want in my life. By doing this every night I become more and more comfortable with these feelings. I slowly convince myself that this is who I am, that these words and feelings are truly my life.
Then after some time, it starts to happen for REAL. When it does I am ready. I don’t get scared or self sabotage, because I have been preparing and thinking about it all along. It feels natural.
Suddenly I am all those things. Suddenly my wants have become my reality. I believed it to be real and then it was.
How about you? What are you focusing on? Is it serving you? What can you focus your energy on to change your reality?
Leave me a comment below and tell me what you think about before falling asleep.
Hugs,
Lorna
Lois Mariano says
April 25, 2014 at 11:48 amI have to admit that I fall asleep almost as soon as my head hits the pillow, but your approach is what I have to do during my waking hours! If something is really worrying me, I try to give myself “permission” to think about it for 10-15 minutes. After that, words/images like those you suggest have to take over – like a meditation. Sleep well!!
deb says
April 27, 2014 at 10:59 amI practise feeling the sheets against my skin, the temperature of the Aur in my face, my chest going up and down, I hear my breathe – and before you know it – zzzzz
Marci says
April 27, 2014 at 12:04 pmI’ve learned a process of gratitude and “what’s right” thinking before I fall asleep. (Instead of the old pattern of “what’s wrong” I once had before sleeping, only to wake to find those things right there waiting for me as I face my day.) And now I wake with a process of gratitude as well. However, it is something I’ve had to do with effort, as it is forming a new healthier habit, and the old one was ingrained for years. So thank you Lorna, for reminding me that we do have a choice in how we think, it’s reminders like this that help to break those old patterns and make the new ones we want.
Dana says
April 27, 2014 at 4:21 pmHmmmm, I love this post. I talk to so many women in midlife who don’t sleep well. I fall to sleep to the sound of the ocean {CD}. I really like your idea of focusing on our intentions. Lovely.
Michelle says
April 27, 2014 at 5:47 pmEvery night, as soon as my head hits the pillow, I begin a gratitude prayer. It goes something like this: “Thank you for this beautiful day… Zzzz…” It’s true! 😀 Luckily, I stay awake during my morning gratitude practice! hahaha!!! But yes, I remember long ago when I was riddled by anxiety at bedtime. Important post. Thank you for sharing!
Susie says
April 27, 2014 at 6:13 pmI love the Dalai Lama quote! I know that if I can’t give back the day with a thank you, I am feeling stressed. My sleep is the first thing to go when I haven’t been mindful. So important!!
Elizabeth MacLeod says
April 28, 2014 at 12:33 amLove the Dalai Lama quote. 🙂 Yes… being mindful, setting intentions. Sometimes I forget to do this at night. I often practice yoga nidra or do a mediation when going to sleep… sometimes though I fall asleep in the bath tub so my head hits the pillow before anything occurs! Tonight however, I will begin in the bath tub 🙂 and will light a candle like i use to do. Funny how sometimes we let go these important things just because… Thanks Lorna… candles tonight too for me!
Karen Yankovich says
April 28, 2014 at 12:53 pmLorna this is such an important post! What we think as we drift off to sleep really resonates with our subconscious mind. I KNOW this, but often do the same thing. So I’m going to create my own list and WRITE IT DOWN, and read/feel it before I go to sleep each night. Thanks so much!
april says
April 29, 2014 at 6:57 ameven with a cognitive-behavioral therapy background, i’ve been guilty of thinking worrisome thoughts before going to sleep. i love your exercise in positivity. yes, you can become who you tell yourself you are. thanks, lorna.
Tania Mercer says
April 29, 2014 at 6:35 pmLorna, thank you for this very graceful post. I especially resonated with “I used to think that life just happened. That I was along for a ride and I needed to hang on and do the best I could.
I have learned that this is not true. Life is intentional. Life is what we make it. Life is where we put our thoughts and our energy.” YES and YES! I have also seen the light and learned that life is what WE make it. The words an thoughts you have just before you sleep are SUPER powerful! They tell your subconscious what to do while you sleep and programs your mind for your waking hours (thank you Dr. Wayne Dyer for this insight!)