Let them be

I realize it has officially been Summer for quite a while now, but here in my household, the true feeling of summer vacation has just begun. Summer jobs are winding down for the kids and travel plans are gearing up. I am taking two weeks off and packing in two mini trips before our annual foray to the shore.  

In honor of our upcoming trip and my love of the amazing body of water that is the ocean, I want to replay this extended metaphor that I wrote last year.

We often feel that the people in our lives need to change for us to accept and love them fully. What if we could just let them be?

Check it out:

When you are at the beach and decide to go in the water, do you respect the ocean? When you check what the ocean is doing that day—where the tides and currents are, the size of the swells, the temperature of the water—do you judge those things? Or do you take them for what they are–the conditions of the ocean on that particular day? 

Do you ask the ocean to be different, or do you accept it just as it is?

And if you choose to go in the water that day, do you use your swimming skills? Do you maneuver out past the breakers, swim to the proper depth and pick which waves to jump, dive through or ride in?

On calm days, do you swim laps or float on your back? And do you do those things while loving the ocean but also while respecting the conditions of the water?

On other days do you choose, because of harsher conditions, not to go in at all? Maybe you refrain, not because you are angry or demanding that the ocean be different– but because you want to protect yourself. 

Because when you do go swimming, you want to enjoy the experience and you wouldn’t jeopardize your body or life to go in on a day when you aren’t safe. Right?

You don’t blame the ocean for being choppy, too cold or having an undertow–you respect those things and make your choice to go in or not because you want to stay safe and continue your relationship with the ocean.

What if you could afford the people in your life the same consideration that you give the ocean? 

What if you could see their different moods and temperaments the same way you see different conditions in the water? That there are days to enjoy them fully and other days to keep your distance? That our loved ones are who they are and it is your choice whether to engage with them or not on any given day.

What if you could maneuver around and with them exactly the way they are–recognizing that you can’t change them anymore than you can change the ocean. What if you could accept their conditions as is and still choose to love and enjoy being with them?

And what if on other days, out of respect for who your loved one is and what is going on with their tides–you decide not to engage. You choose to protect yourself, while acknowledging where they are, in order to go back another day when their conditions are better. If you waited for a different day, you could then enjoy and love them in all their glory.

How different could your relationships be if you treated those around you with the same awe, respect and acceptance that you give the ocean?

And what if allowing other people to be who they are, gave you permission to always be who you are?

How great would that be?

Happy end of Summer.

Hugs,
Lorna

If you would like to speak about strategies that you can use to allow those in your life to be just as they are, hit contact in the upper right corner of this page to schedule a complimentary Discovery Session with me .

In order to change your life, you must first change your mind

I adapted this from an Abraham-Hicks recording (San Diego, February 8, 2014). In it surfing was used and it was specifically addressing our futile attempts to control and judge our significant others.