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Practical Mystic

It's Official…..I'm Addicted

May 1, 2014 By Lorna 9 Comments

1 May
Confession time.

It’s true, I have an addiction.  I was actually doing it right now.  Instead of writing this to you, I was mindlessly trolling the internet. The situation with my screen time has gotten to the point that I would call it a problem.

You know that I often harp about life balance.  I get up on my soap box and tell anyone who will listen how important it is to put yourself high on the priority list. That you have to take care of you as well as you take care of others, or else you will get to a place where you have nothing left to give.

Over the years I have mastered the life balance thing pretty well (yes, most of my kids are out of the house, so that helps!).   I exercise and eat well.  I take care of my family and home.  I have slowly built my coaching business.  Now I can look at my calendar and recognize all three pillars—me time, family time and work time.

But here is the problem.  Overlapping and intertwining with all that “balanced” time is screen time.  No matter what I am doing, there is almost always a screen involved.  While my kids are getting ready for school I am often staring at a screen.  During my allotted work time I am on Pinterest and Facebook.  When I ask my daughter about her day I am texting while she answers.  While I make dinner I am reading a news article.  I can rarely sit at a red light without checking my phone (I know—B.A.D., but I have to be honest).

I know exactly how I got here.  I let my daughter sign me up for Facebook.  I gave in and bought a smart phone.   I started taking online classes.  I started meeting classmates online.  I put up a business website.

Being an obsessive compulsive kind of gal, the rest is obvious.

Suddenly there was an excuse.  I “had” to be online.  I had to stay up to date with clients.  I had to attend my class. I had to update my website.

But because I did this without structure, all of a sudden I realized I was staring at a screen all day.  I told myself I was “working” when most of the time all I was really doing was popping from article to article about things that I already knew enough about.  There are only so many super foods and green smoothie recipes.  There are only so many ways to say that Monsanto sucks and that GMO’s need to be labeled.  I am comfortably sure that I am liberal leaning and that whatever is happening in Hollywood has nothing to do with my life.  And yet there I go, consuming this information day after day.

I have to call myself out here.  This situation has gotten out of hand.  When I am checking my phone or scrolling through Facebook, I am not truly present.  Sure, my physical body is in the room with my family, but they know that I am not really there.  I’m not kidding anyone.  I am wasting countless hours on something that is not improving my life one little bit.

These habits need to be broken.  And that is what they are—habits.  Ones that I want to change.  Again, this is my domain.  I talk to my clients about habits week in and week out.

So now I am the one who needs some brainstorming to break my pattern of obsessive screen use.

The first thing I am going to do is put my phone out of reach in the car.  I can put it in the trunk so that I physically cannot reach it while driving.  That one is easy.  Starts today.

At home it is more challenging.  I am going to set up specific times for Facebook and random perusing of the internet.  I can give myself thirty minutes in the morning and the evening.  That will give me plenty of time to stay up to date.  I will put those thirty minute increments into my daily calendar and set a timer when I use them.

While I am legitimately working I will block websites that tempt me.  I know that there are programs you can download to block offending sites.  I fear that if I don’t have something concrete in place that it won’t work.  So I will look into those programs today and get those up and running pronto.

Fixing this problem basically comes down to structure and following a schedule.  I thought I could avoid having to do this.  I thought I could handle it organically.

Nope, I can’t.  I have not handled it and now I recognize that I need these parameters in place so that I am forced to adhere to the plan.  It is the same thing that I hear often from others—I know what I need to do, I just need to DO IT.

I also need some accountability, so thus I have outed myself here today.  Things will not change unless I do something different, so this is me committing to change.

When you see me, talk to me, or interact online with me—ask how I am doing.  Ask me if I am keeping within my new boundaries.  If I hem and haw, tell me I need to do better.  If I say I am doing well, please congratulate me (because it is NOT going to be easy).

How about you?  Are screens an issue in your life too?  Please leave a comment below and tell me how you handle this hot button issue.  Do you feel that being online is holding you back from being present?  Or are you comfortable with your life balance when it comes to technology?  Any and all recommendations welcome.  Or maybe a support group is in order.  🙂

Hugs,

Lorna

P.S.  If you have gotten this far thank you.  I got some local press last week.  If you want to read the lovely things they wrote, click here.

Filed Under: Blog

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Patti Capparelli says

    May 1, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    Lorna, I can relate! Sometimes I’d notice our family time was spend with everyone looking at a screen! One person was on the iPad, another looking at their phone and others with their laptops in front of them. I took the facebook app off my phone and that alone keeps me from looking at my phone. I also had to take off Candy Crush Saga as I was completely addicted! I use SelfControl to block facebook and my email when I’m blogging. What I do know is that I don’t feel physically great after spending a day looking at my computer. So, I listen to my body when It needs to move or get fresh air or run errands. Great post and I look forward to reading about your progress

    Reply
    • breathecommunity.org says

      May 3, 2014 at 11:32 am

      Taking Facebook off your handheld is a great idea Patti. Thankfully I never fell down the Candy Crush rabbit hole–I watched my family get addicted, so I stayed away. I LOVE that the program is called SelfControl! If we had any of that we wouldn’t need the program. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Lois Mariano says

    May 2, 2014 at 12:21 am

    I’m on my iPhone way too much. Hmmm…have to think about taking the Facebook app off – never occurred to me before but that could make a big difference! Thank you for bringing up the topic. And loved the Rye Record article!!

    Reply
    • breathecommunity.org says

      May 3, 2014 at 11:32 am

      Thanks Lois!!

      Reply
  3. Silvia says

    May 2, 2014 at 1:23 pm

    I’m on the fence about this for me. Certainly if my kids were still at home and everyone was gazing at a screen it would upset me. But my kids are grown so family time isn’t the issue.

    And certainly because I’m building an online business and work from home and writing is a big part of that business I have a BIG excuse to have hours with my screen.

    Last weekend I was away visiting a friend and running to my phone or laptop wasn’t a priority and I didn’t miss it at all. Still, I know I waste too much time with my screen.

    Basically however I take comfort with the fact that I go with the flow. Some days i’m in front of a screen on and off all day and others I’m cooking up something else. Both have their place.

    I cheer you on Lorna…but be gentle with yourself as you find the right balance for you.

    Reply
    • breathecommunity.org says

      May 3, 2014 at 11:33 am

      Silvia it sounds like you are balancing your screen time well. I aspire to that. Thanks for your support.

      Reply
  4. Evie says

    May 2, 2014 at 1:30 pm

    Lorna, how I enjoy your writing!! I was just talking to my sister about this, this morning!!! I’m also an addict and this article came at a perfect time, have to regain control of what’s really important, thanks for the reminder 🙂

    Reply
    • breathecommunity.org says

      May 3, 2014 at 11:34 am

      Good luck Evie. We will be working on this together.

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Let the Dark Clouds Pass (and an update) - Lorna Gager | Regain control of your beautiful life. says:
    May 8, 2014 at 5:57 pm

    […] Quick update on getting my obsessive technology use under control (if you missed the blog last week you can read it here […]

    Reply

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