So, did you do your homework? Were you able to notice the ways that you hide from your unwanted emotions?
Last week I handed out free passes for ignoring uncomfortable feelings up ’til now. Why? Because no one ever taught you how to deal with them. If you missed Part Un or want to take another look, you can read it HERE.
This week I am following up with how your body tries to tell you it needs your attention and a variety of ways that you can begin to deal with your suppressed feelings.
But before we jump into that, I want to back up one step and explain why feeling the entire range of your emotions is crucial to living your life to the fullest.
The most obvious answer is that if you have them, you should use them. I don’t think that humans would come equipped with both intellect and emotion unless they were meant to use both.
The other, maybe not so obvious answer, is that if we shut down our negative emotions we also shut down our positive ones. We can’t have true love, joy and happiness without also feeling hurt, guilt, pain and grief. Emotions are a package deal–you shut down the bad and the good go with them.
Brene Brown has made a career out of studying human connection and has an amazing TED talk on exactly this topic–she calls it the Power of Vulnerability. It has been viewed over 24 MILLION times. I have posted the link below.
Even when you try your darndest to numb yourself, your body will still do its best to get your attention. So what are some signs that your emotions have been suppressed for too long?
~you catch every illness going around
~constriction in your throat or chest
~needing surgery for no clear cut injury (esp. neck, back and shoulders)
~a deep knowing that something is off
~undiagnosable gastrointestinal issues
~you’re sick even though you’re “healthy”
This list could go on. If you have unexplained “stuff” happening with your body, please get still and ask yourself if it could be emotional rather than physical. The answer may surprise you.
Ok. You’ve gotten this far and you realize you have some emotional baggage you’d like to deal with. What to do?
You have a range of choices.
See a Coach or Therapist–yes, of course I’m going to start with this one. Find someone you feel comfortable with and dive in. You will learn to see your problems in a different light, you will gain tools to handle situations differently and having a non-judgmental place to express yourself will make you feel remarkably better. (If you don’t know the difference between a Coach and a Therapist, please reply to this email and I will be happy to explain).
Mind/Body movement and stillness–whether it is a yoga, tai chi, qigong or meditation practice, find something that connects you to your inner self and gets you out of your head. Intellect has its place, but our bodies are vastly wiser than our brains. We can’t tap into that wisdom until we slow down and connect to a different aspect of our self.
Network Chiropractor–these are Chiropractors who utilize Network Spinal Analysis. It starts with the premise that our traumas, hurt and unfelt feelings are held in the body. Network chiropractors work mostly with the spine to offer “profound improvements in physical well being, stress level, emotional and psychological well being, and overall quality of life.”
Somatic Healing–Somatic healers deal with past trauma and unexpressed emotions directly through the body. A practitioner is trained to recognize where a patient is stuck in the fight, flight or freeze response and teaches new ways for the body to respond. This gentle method helps get the client effectively into the present moment and out of their ingrained fear patterns.
Tapping/EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)–Tapping uses a combination of Ancient Chinese Acupressure and Psychology to help move you through your emotional blocks. Tapping has successfully been used with victims of highly traumatic events. You can practice alone or with a practitioner. There are many instructional videos on YouTube.
As promised last week, there are many modalities to choose from to deal with your emotions even if talking isn’t your thing.
As I tell people during discovery calls, I am not attached to whether you work with me or not, but I am passionate that you get the help you need. Ignoring your feelings indefinitely keeps your life at a sub optimal level. If you are ready to make some changes, I hope these suggestions help point you in the right direction.
Here’s the link to the TED Talk:
In order to change your life, you must first change your mind.