You’re making sh*t up

It was a simple sentence.

“I’m dropping two classes and will be a part time student this semester.”

When she said it, I smiled and nodded. I stayed positive and supported her decision.

While I felt that way in the moment, afterwards, alone, my mind started churning.

Why is she doing this?
What will she do with her extra time?
Will she graduate?
Does she really care about school or is this a gentle way to say “I’m dropping out.”
Is there something else going on in her life that I am missing?
Is someone else influencing her decisions?
Is this really what is right for her?

On and on it went.

But then I caught myself.

This is a trap that I often caution my clients against.

I was making sh*t up.

The only thing that is for sure is that my daughter is going to be in school part time.

All the rest of my worries and concerns are completely hypothetical. I’m making up stories about an unknown.

I have no way to know what is going to happen.

All of this negative thinking and anxiety are simply my imagination running wild.

So how do I stop?

Well, if I can come up with so many worst case scenarios, can’t I come up with some of the best?

What if I choose to focus on one of these, instead:

She knows what is best for her.
The extra time is going to be great for her figure out what she wants to do long term.
She always has a job and many activities during the semester and this will give her more time for them.
She will be adding lots to her resume even while she is in school.

I can’t know for sure either way.

So since I am making sh*t up anyway, why not make it good sh*t?

For some reason our brains have gotten used to going directly to fear, gloom and doom.

Which is crazy when you think about it, because how often does the worst really happen?

Hardly ever!

Life is unknown and you want to feel like you know what is going to happen.

But why have you gotten so comfortable telling yourself these terrible stories?

How often do you go down the rabbit hole of fear that you are going to lose your family, your livelihood, your health, your freedom, your friends, your bank account?

Instead of these catastrophic thoughts, why don’t you consciously decide to make up a positive story?

Let your imagination go towards everything working out: everyone adoring you, windfalls, career opportunities, travel, interesting people, great food, spectacular experiences.

You can actually make friends with the unknown when you concentrate on the best case scenario instead of the worst.

Give it a try….it will save you lots of unnecessary angst.

I can’t know what will happen with my daughter going part time, but you can be sure I’m making sh*t up that it will be for the best.
Hugs,

Lorna

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Fall is a great time to start anew.  If you are ready to make some real, positive changes in your life, hit the contact button in the upper right corner of this page to set up a call with me. I am continuously amazed at the progress that my clients make doing this work.
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This is the sixth in a series of nine posts. In the first, I set forth the 8 underlying principals of my coaching philosophy. For the rest of the summer, I will be sussing out each point individually. You can read the previous installments here:

Intro
You Gotta Want it
Will you be my BFF? 
The School of Life
Mirror, Mirror

In order to change your life, you must first change your mind.